Joe Baba

Before I continue forward let me Tarantino it and fill-in some dead space between me hating Almora and me deciding to work here. My days where filled with long treks back and forth from town trying to get Internet or helping Uncle Alan with his abysmal cafe. His Sketchy landlord decided to help, which basically involved him making miserable samosas and repeating 'no problem' every three seconds. He also convinced Uncle Alan to buy Rum and sell it at the cafe (add one more thing to the list of illegal activities i.e. business w.o. appropriate visa). Govinda was basically trying to make a hang out for his friends. This was a very bad idea and Uncle Alan realized this very fast. Me, not wanting to be involved with bad food and shady landlords, spent a good amount of time with the interesting character Joe Baba, while I contemplated my escape. Even though trust was a bit of an issue, he told me he would teach me how to make some Indian food and I figured I couldn't get myself into too much trouble. The few days I spent with him turned out to be really fun. We made aloo paratha (potato stuffed flat bread) and deep fried eggs in curry (more Delicious than its sounds). He also brewed super strong chai with copious amounts of ginger, green cardamom, and black pepper. He tought me a great Indian game called Karim. A game of finesse, Karim can best be equated with Billiards. The table is much smaller and a rectangle, measuring around 3 feet by 3 feet. Instead of balls you use small wooden pieces that look like checkers. Instead of a cue ball and stick you have a plastic disc that is slightly bigger than the checkers and the flick of your finger. You have one player on each side of the table and there are two teams. The goal is pretty much to hit your color checker pieces into the holes in each corner before the other team does. It is fun, difficult, and addicting, especially since I didn't have much else to do.
One afternoon we rambled on up the hill and I watched Joe Baba play a few heated games. Chai was sipped and billows of hash smoke puffed. With old Indian men laughing it re mined me of a scene in a movie. Half way through the game Joe Baba's English girlfriend, Beth, (very lovely lady) stormed up to the Karim room with a dead baby goat in her arms. She was pissed. To paraphrase: "What the Hell Joe, you said you would be down in 10 minutes that was 20 minutes ago. Our dog killed this thing and you're sitting playing Karim. That's all you guys do. The women are working in the fields, while the men smoke and play games. For christ sake it reeks of rum in here." Her assessment was spot on.
Unaffected, Joe Baba borrowed a motorbike and we went into town for lunch. On the menu, chicken and egg curry w. roti, and for drinks a few super strong piss-flavored Indian beers. A little but tipsy, Joe started to talk about his troubles with Beth and his reformed life. His father was abusive so he left home when he was 6 and took Bombay by storm. He showed me his multiple gun and knife wounds, including a rather burly one running across his throat. Every single one of those injuries was paid back in death. But according to Joe "I can't live like that no more." He is an interesting man. And for some reason these stories weirdly make me trust him more. At least he is being honest and sharing about his women troubles.
As a side note I got a shave in town. I heard that they where rather elaborate rituals and I had to experience the hype. They start by spraying your face with water, than massaging oil into your face for a good 2-3 minutes. Then you get ritualistically lathered up until a super thick foam forms. He shaves the entire face with precision than re-applies the lather and does it all again. He cleans the face and applies a moisturizer which he massages in for another few minutes. He then applies another oil and takes out this big machine which vibrates the face. After that he takes floss and runs it across all the parts of the face. Dirt comes off. He then squeezes any imperfections with a special tool. It finishes with another moisturizer. Price 3 dollars.
I heard that this hotel called Kalmatia Sangam has great food and is really close so I decided to check it out and see if I could work in the kitcken in exchange for some food or accomodations. The next day was my dinner with the King and Queen.