Transportation and back to Delhi

For a city called Delhi you'd think they would make a good pastrami on rye.

Ok before you immediately close the page just let me justify this. As a Lawrence I am obliged, by laws far beyond my control, to tell the most terrible, nay horrendous, nay abysmal jokes known to mankind. The only problem is that age not only diminishes the filter for such jokes, but one starts believing they are actually clever and humorous. God help my loved ones in 40 years.

So, where was I? I believe the last time I left off I was still at the Ashram. Shortly after that, I went back to Kasar Devi and resumed my post at Kalmatia Sangam. Initially it was very slow, but I continued to learn some. In fact my role in the kitchen started to shift towards cooking the staff meals. It is funny because that was my job at the first restaurant I worked at. Of course in that restaurant I had a little more freedom in my choice of genre. This was strictly Indian. For breakfast I rolled out parathas, Lunch was dal (lentils) and rice, and dinner was curried vegetables with chapatti (bread). The other cooks and employees where very good to me, and loved to joke around with me. There was one guy named Balwan who didn't speak a lick of English, but we had an ongoing joke. He would say 1-2-3 and thrust his hips with each number. They got a kick out of it when I appeased him and moved my hips also. One of the chefs said Balwan's only problem is that he can never get to 4-5-6. I spent more time at the Kasar Devi temple and made friends with the Swami that lived there. He is very smart guy, with a gentle soul. He preaches the virtue of moderation (which I find funny for someone that abstains from so many things). Either way it is a great teaching and important to remember that too much pleasure is just as unhealthy as too much pain. A good way to train your spirit and will is to abstain from pleasurable things every once in a while. It makes the good that much better and teaches you to have a strong mind. I actually fasted to try this out. As anyone that knows me can tell you I have a very big problem with being irritable and mean when I am hungry. After 36 hours with only some mango juice and a banana I can tell you I am on the road to recovery. It is amazing that when the mind WANTS to not eat it feels empowered and not cranky. I am learning a lot about myself and the connection between my mind and body. It is also very healthy to fast every few weeks because it gives your digestive system time to clean out extra build up in the system. Just make sure that you drink plenty of water, and if it's longer than 24 hours, drink fruit juice that has vitamin C and chlorophyll. Of course I am not a doctor and I feel obligated to inform all readers that they should consult a physician before doing anything. Before I left Kalmatia I had a meeting with the manager and we discussed improvements that I felt could help the restaurant. From his point of view that was my primary purpose for my presence. The meeting went very well and I felt that the manager was very receptive to my advice. I doubt I will go back, but at least I know I can.

I left to go back to the ashram for a few days because I could not get a train to Delhi from Almora but I could from Dehra Dun. The rest of this entry will break away from the narrative format and be more of a compilation of tales that further illuminates the transportation system, culture, and people. Many entries ago I was getting extremely feed-up with the people. I felt like everyone simply wanted to screw you for every paisa (that is a rupee cent haha) you are worth. Or course the businessmen and taxi drivers are like this but that is their nature you can't blame them. Only laugh. For the most part Indians are friendly, inquisitive, and helpful. I have not been to a single rail station or airport where someone did not spark up a conversation with me. Their level of English was the biggest factor for how personal and in-depth the conversation went. Sometimes it stopped at "What country are you?”America, New Jersey." Period. Other times questions about my occupation, salary, religion, or marital status came into play. In America asking someone their salary is generally considered rude. In India it's common-place. Of course when I convert 9 dollars an hour to rupees they think I am raking it in. It's hard to explain that currency is relative, and I make relatively little. I had one such conversation with a very friendly group of 20-something traveling from Lucknow. They where all going to university together and where traveling with their English Lit. Professor. They where quite enamored with me. Earlier I said that Indians have contempt for people with white skin. In reality it draws jealousy. The Indian cosmetic world is full of skin whitening creams. One of the college kids (male) was quick to tell me I'm 'beautiful' and asked why I didn't work in Hollywood. He asked as if such a proposition was simple and obvious. They urged me to play guitar and I of course obliged. Looking up from the strings, I saw a large gathering. I very much regret not knowing some Michael Jackson songs or better yet some Backstreet Boys. They love that shit. I don't think my blues and rock really did it for them. Of course the crowd was gathered to see the strange skeptical more than hear the music. The professor came over and started to discuss English Literature. We started to talk about poetry. I brought up Ginsberg and Kerouac; he brought up Frost and Dickenson. I quoted some Shakespeare and he let me off the hook for not knowing all the classics. He took every chance he could to admonish me for my ignorance of English Lit., Indian geography, or even Indian classical music. He started to write down sitar and tabla musicians that "I simply must hear". The boys started to ask me about dating in America and particularly how to pick up girls. I told them I wasn't the one to ask. When they asked how I picked up my last girlfriend I told them it was a long story and involved whisky. I departed the train station with them jogging along side yelling "I love you David". Now I have boy friends all over the world.

Now, for a brief foray into the scary word of Delhi's metro system. It has the pure quantity of people that you would find in a Tokyo rail station but absolutely none of the orderliness. Instead of polite ushers with white gloves you have a few guys with whistles trying desperately to keep the crowds under control. As the train rolls in the people on board try desperately to push their way out as the throngs of people start flooding on board. The poor fools that are inside hardly have a chance unless they’re close to the front. It's absolutely mayhem. Surprisingly the underground is very modern and clean, plus there are no beggars.

Dehra-Dun to Delhi. 6 am departure. I spent the large majority of the ride reading until I heard loud yelling a few seats in front of me. Two young lovers where laying on the sleeper in front of me, and wrapped in their blanket it was very cute. I saw the young man get in a quarrel with an official. He was mighty pissed. It started to escalate to the point where everyone in our section of the train took notice and men started to rush forward to get involved. I was not sure who was at fault until the gentleman next to me translated. Apparently the young kids are only students and did not have the appropriate I.D.'s for the online tickets they purchased. Mind you, I have never once been asked for I.D. on the many train rides I have taken. They paid for their tickets. No other passenger claimed the seats they where in. Why, you ask, was there such a hassle? Simply because they are two kids lying next to each other and not married. The initial fine was 250 rupees and after this asshole official dragged the kid off the train and tried to get him arrested (the cops told the official NO) he upped the fine to 750 rupees (a very large fine for two kids). The kids finally gave in and where fumbling for the money when the official escorted them to another part of the train. An hour later the young kid came back to get his stuff and informed us that since he is 18 and she is 17 (a minor) the official is making the ludicrous claim that he kidnapped the girl. Yes you read properly. There is no law against them traveling together and any judge in India would acquit them without a second thought. All the adults where outraged at the official and said that any other official would have accepted the college I.D. and make nothing of it. That my first real glance at corruption and the evil streak of conservatism that is suppressing the youth of India.